To me, September has always felt MUCH more like the start of a new year compared to January. I think no matter how old you get, September always signifies the start of something new. At the risk of sounding too cliché, September really does bring the start of a lot of new things – or at least things we had forgotten about/let slide through the summer months – new routines (not looking forward to Summer Fridays leaving eeeeeek!), new classes if you’re back to school, often new responsibilities, and for some – a new city or new surroundings.

Many of us have had between 14-18 “first” days of school or at least what felt a lot like a new beginning. Most of us have probably lived in some place other than what we would consider “home.” And if you haven’t – I highly recommend it for overall growth! As you can tell (lol), I get a little sentimental this time of year.

I still remember when I made the wild decision (or what feels wild now) to move to a new city for my boyfriend – only 4 months after we started dating. Seems completely crazy now that I’ve written it here, but when it feels right, it feels right! I’ll save that story for another post (lol). I had a few friends in this city, but overall, having lived in small towns in Maine for my entire life, it came as a bit of a shock. Now, I truly can say that I’ve found happiness where I live, however, it wasn’t without a bit of trial and error.

It’s important to note that finding happiness in a new city doesn’t come overnight. There’s no math equation for getting it 100% right. However, through experience and some of these tips, I truly hope that you can learn to embrace the place you live and this new change.

Since school is starting up again and many of you may be in new towns or cities for internships, new jobs, etc. I thought this might be a good time to share my thoughts and tips on finding happiness in a new city!

6 TIPS FOR FINDING HAPPINESS IN A NEW CITY

Sweater (linked similar) / Jeans /  Belt / Handbag (similar here) / Earrings (gold sold out but linked similar) / Boots (sold out but linked similar)
Photography: Rachel Leiner

 

 

1. Start Saying “Yes”

It’s easy to want to become a hermit and put on sweatpants and turn on Netflix every night (no shame, I love these things too!! 😉 ) but when you first move to a new city, you have to get out and explore and say “yes” to those things that at first, might seem uncomfortable. Say “yes” to the coworker who wants to grab lunch together on your lunch break, even if you don’t feel like you know each other that well yet. Say “yes” to tagging along with your roommate and her friends to grab brunch on the weekend. Say “yes” to that workout that’s just a tad out of your comfort zone. Saying “yes” and doing things that are out of our comfort zones are how we grow. And no one ever said they weren’t scary. Trying new things can be really scary. But the part that often scares us the most are our own thoughts. Nine times out of ten, once I do something, I then make fun of myself for ever wondering why I waited so long. In six months you’ll be amazed and proud at how far you’ve come. And you just might make a new friend or make a great memory in the process! But… it doesn’t mean you have to say yes to going out on a date with that creepy guy on Bumble 😉 .

2. Explore

For me, finding happiness in a new city had a lot to do with finding places that make me happy and make me feel like I’m at home. I’m a firm believer that everyone has to have at least a few go-to spots in their town or city. Think about the things and places that made your last town or city feel like home. Usually it’s the people, but it’s also often those spots that we go to that we don’t even have to think about. Spots like your go-to grocery store, a cozy coffee shop, a date night spot, nail salon, even a place to get your prescriptions, or a new doctor/dentist, etc. To me, a place starts to feel so much more like home once I know the places I can run to when I’m in a pinch. I’m not even talking about those places that are incredibly aesthetically pleasing or “famous on the ‘gram.” I’m talking about those places where the people and atmosphere make you feel like you’re at home <3  . To me, that’s way more important for my happiness and long-term well-being.

3. Stay on the Weekends

This one brings me back to college a bit. Remember those weekends freshman year of college when either you (or if not you, then definitely a friend of yours) would go back to their hometown almost every weekend? It always brings me back to thinking about middle school dances a bit. You so badly want to get out there and dance… but you feel just a tad awkward. Then, you finally make it out to the dance floor and it’s 10:45 and the dance ends at 11 and you wished you would have gotten out there a lot earlier. Remind you of anyone? As much as you might feel painfully awkward, you have to make it through the tough times (weekends) to get to the greener grass.

4. Get a Roommate

There’s only one year out of my life that I didn’t have a roommate or live with someone else and it was my first year in Boston (well, more like the suburbs of Boston. I lived in Framingham). To be honest, that was probably the hardest year of my life. While I greatly value my alone time, I’m also a person who needs people around them. I would say I’m a bit of a mix of introverted and extraverted. When I lived alone that year, I got very stuck into my routine of coming home from work (at 3PM because I was a teacher) and often NOT LEAVING my apartment until work the next morning. It makes me cringe and also laugh thinking about it now, because I was such a hermit. I was painfully lonely to the point where it gave me what I think is probably anxiety.

We all know ourselves. If you’re someone who always needs people around – do yourself a favor and get a roommate. Not only will you help yourself financially, but you also may make a friend. I want to note here though that I don’t think you have to be best friends with someone to have a good living situation. You simply have to be respectful and a good human being. I became so scared of getting a “bad roommate” that I convinced myself I would be fine without one. What many of us don’t realize (and I hadn’t really thought of it at the time) is that you don’t just jump into agreeing to live with someone immediately. You can meet for coffee, answer questions for each other, and chat until each of you determines if it will be a good fit or not. You don’t have to jump in blind!

5. Find a Hobby

We weren’t meant to work, eat, sleep, and die. Okay, didn’t mean for that to get so morbid, but you guys know what I mean. When finding happiness in a new city, You HAVE to have hobbies and find little bits of enjoyment in each day in order to get through this thing called life. I’m a huge believer in work/life balance, so that’s where a hobby comes in. If you don’t have a hobby or something you enjoy outside of work, try something new that’s a bit out of your comfort zone. At the very least, you should join a gym. If you’re local to Boston, here’s a couple ideas:

• Try a cooking class at the Boston Public Market or Eataly
• Join a workout club like November Project that has gained cult-like status in Boston (minus the cult weirdness 😉 )
• Learn to knit with a knitting class with Third Piece
• Try your hand at flower arranging with Alice’s Table – I’ve done this and I can say it’s so fun! This is also available in other states.

6. Reach Out

I think we often forget that we have these huge networks available to us today. Yes, I’m talking about Facebook and Instagram. While they may get a bad rap, many people I know have found great success with posting on Facebook about looking for a roommate or people to connect with. Most colleges have alumni group pages for whichever city you’re in. Also, because of what a crazy small world it is, you’re bound to have a friend who has another friend in the city you’re in. There’s a reason they’re friends, right?! Don’t be afraid of sounding silly by reaching out and asking for your friends or others to connect you with people in your city.

 

Have you ever moved to a new city and been stuck with trying to find happiness? Have a tip I didn’t mention? Would love to know in the comments!