If you guys know me at all, then you know my life goes something like this: *Sees commercial for Dairy Queen* *Immediately needs Dairy Queen*, *Sees Facebook post of friend eating nachos* *Immediately starts craving nachos*, *Sees Snapchat of Kendall Jenner eating poptarts* *Thinks about poptarts, craves poptarts.* (yes, according to Snapchat, which is a very high quality source, even Kendall Jenner eats poptarts). But really you guys, I honestly have a problem. My mom has always called me a marketer’s dream, and it’s true. No matter what it is that I see, (usually food, sometimes clothing from emails *goodbye bank account*), I immediately think to myself that I need it. This becomes especially problematic with the fact that I follow a few food accounts on Instagram.
There’s something about Poptarts that makes me so nostalgic about childhood. I mean, they’re the ultimate throwback, am I right? [pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]I have such fine memories of tossing a couple of those babies in the toaster and burning the eff out of my fingers while impatiently snatching them out, half-toasted; then running off to school with my Gigapet keychain in hand;[/pullquote] Or sometimes just grabbing that silver wrapper and running out the door in my Skechers platform sneakers and oversized flare jeans (went through a rough grunge stage). Although they were somewhat acceptable for breakfast in the 90’s, it’s hard to justify buying them, knowing everything we know now about all of the processed ingredients they contain; and just overall how awful they are for you. They’re sort of like Ramen noodles… you know they’re bad for you, you kinda don’t want to know what’s in them, kinda want to do it anyway without any judgment or stares.
So since I couldn’t actually bring myself to that low point that is going to buy Poptarts and only Poptarts (seriously would have had to throw some random stuff in my cart as a distraction…), I thought that it might be fun to try making them! I’ll be honest, these were somewhat of a pain in the you-know-what to make, and as I think I’ve mentioned before, anything with pie crust is so difficult for me for some reason. But at the very least, it was a great way to practice my baking skills, and they’re delicious!! Note: I’m not saying this recipe for Poptarts is healthy whatsoever, but they are healthier than the alternative which are loaded with processed junk.
To make these, I used a combination of a couple different recipes from here and here. Most recipes I found called for store bought jam from the jar, but I knew that I wanted to make this recipe as processed-free as possible, so I found a recipe that calls for making your own! Also, in the first version I made, I used store bought pie crusts, but I didn’t end up liking the taste of the piecrust, so I ended up making my own instead. However, if you have a brand that you love and know tastes good, it will make the recipe 10x easier.
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Strawberry Pop Tarts (modified from Completely Delicious and Cooking Classy)
Strawberry Jam Filling:
1 pint of strawberries
2 Tablespoons of Fresh Lemon Juice
1 1/3 Cups of Sugar
2 Tablespoons of Orange or Lemon Zest
Put the strawberries and sugar in a medium sized sauce pan and set over medium-high heat. Stir and mash with a potato masher or large fork and bring to a boil. Boil for about 2-3 minutes until sugar is dissolved and combined with the mashed strawberries.
Reduce heat to medium-low. Add the lemon juice. Continue to simmer for 10-15 minutes until thickened.
Stir in the orange or lemon zest. Cool to room temperature before spooning onto the prepared pastry squares. Any leftovers may be stored in the fridge for about a week.
Pastry
2 cups + 2 Tbsp All-purpose Flour, Plus more for rolling
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Granulated sugar
1 Cup Unsalted butter, cold and diced into 1/2-inch cubes (I used salted butte and it turned out fine)
4 – 5 Tbsp Ice water
In a food processor pulse together flour, salt and granulated sugar. Add butter and pulse mixture until it resembles coarse meal (it won’t really come together in pieces much at this point, so don’t over-process, just pulse until butter is no longer in large pieces). Add 4 Tbsp water and pulse several times, if it doesn’t come together in clumps, add remaining 1 Tbsp water. Drop mixture onto a clean surface, gather dough into a ball. Cover with plastic wrap and chill 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Roll dough out onto a floured surface to about a 13 by 11-inch rectangle and use a pairing knife to create rectangles in the desired size you would like your poptarts to be.
Arrange rectangles, spaced evenly apart on prepared baking sheet. Spread 1 Tbsp of jam evenly down the center of each rectangle, leaving about a 3/4-inch rim on all sides uncoated. Top each with another rectangle, then seal edges with your fingertips, then reseal with a fork. Cook at 375 for 12-15 minutes.
Glaze
1 Cup Powdered sugar
2 Tbsp Half and half, plus more as needed
1/4 tsp Vanilla extract
Sprinkles, if desired
In a mixing bowl whisk together all icing ingredients, then add more half and half about 1/2 tsp at a time to reach desired consistency. Spread over tops of cooled pop tarts, leaving a small rim uncoated around all sides. Sprinkle tops with sprinkles if desired and allow glaze to set at room temperature. Store in an airtight container.
I hope you guys enjoy!!! This nostalgic treat would be perfect for a fun brunch or party! Don’t forget to tag me, tweet at me, or Snapchat me if you make these!!
